Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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