i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
