Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
