im having a threesome with these popsicles
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize