just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
