my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
