put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
