I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
There's always time for handjobs
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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