Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
