ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
