If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
