We won't sleep together?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize