Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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