You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I need water and some morals
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