to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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