Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
