I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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