your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize