Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
