No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
