I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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