If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
