Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
