Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
