And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Randomize
