nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize