If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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