I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize