Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
