you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
