Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
