I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
