If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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