Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
