she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
