i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
