i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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