When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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