I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
