Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize
