i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
