I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
