It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
