our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she peed on how many people?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
