Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize