so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
