My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
