Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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