Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
