She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
