don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize