Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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