He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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