R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
