Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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