this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
