Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
