God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize