she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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