It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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