Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
