Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
