You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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